When someone told me that Vanilla Ice is coming to perform in South Africa, I told him he was talking rubbish. That’s when he grabbed me by the arm and said, “Hey, Seth, why don’t you just stop, collaborate and listen for a change!”

Vanilla Ice

I did, and It looks like it’s true. I’ll be honest, something grabbed a hold of me tightly, flowing like a harpoon, daily and nightly.

“Will he ever stop?” I asked.

“Yo, I don’t know,” replied my friend. “Turn off the lights, and he’ll glow.”

“To the extreme, he seems to rock a mic like a vandal. It’s almost as if you simply have to light up a stage and he’ll wax a chaump like a candle.”

Check this out from the tonight section of iol .

Vanilla Ice is coming, even if no one knows why

Vanilla Ice is coming! Vanilla Ice is coming!

Okay, he’s only coming to Pretoria, but still!

The former rapper/film star/metal-head/wrestler/wife-beater performs a once-off SA gig on November 28 at SuperSport Park, Centurion (details 082 851 9768).

I am excited but I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the pull of nostalgia. Maybe it’s morbid fascination.

South African shores have proven hospitable to acts that are somewhat past their prime. In recent years we’ve had Foreigner, Air Supply, Jethro Tull, Rod Stewart, Simply Red, Cliff Richard, ZZ Top, Bryan Adams, Bread and many many others. Don’t get me wrong. Some of these acts are great but none of them are at the height of their fame. Are they hoping that SA is hiding a musical fountain of youth?

Think of it as the Cold Factor. American folk musician Rodriguez had retired from music after failing to succeed in his home country. He then found out that he is super-famous in South Africa and came to tour, enjoing a career resurrection.

Who knows… Maybe SA can do the same for Mr Ice aka Robert Matthew Van Winkle (a much better stage name, if you ask me).

And if it works for him, maybe it’ll work for other bands whose star-power has faded in the firmament. I want to see MC Hammer’s pants making a comeback. I want to see Boy George, pot-belly and all. I want to see Ringo Starr doing his solo shtick. I want to see Hanson now that they’re grown women. I want to see Europe doing one Final Countdown. I want to see Billy Ray Cyrus stepping out of Miley’s shadow. Come one! Come all!

[more here ]

Ja, look, I’m not sure if I’ll be making the trip to Pretoria. But if he comes to Cape Town, by ALL means, I’ll check it out.

I’ll send you off with a video of the greatest song of your youth.

That was “tight.”

[thanks francois]