Brace yourselves – I have incredibly bad news.

Victoria’s Secret model, Adriana Lima, is married.

 

Adriana Lima, as I will always remember her.
Before she threw it all away.

be

strong

 

She got married to Marko Jaric on – wait for it [cotch ] – Valentine’s Day! AWESOME!

It was all announced on her MyBookSpaceFaceFuck page. Here are the gory details, if you can handle it:

 

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

An IMPORTANT blog, MARRIAGE 🙂

Hello!
By this point, some people know about my big news! Yes, I like to keep my life personal but I did become married on Valentine Day to the love of my life. I am SO happy inside and I want to spread my love!
The marriage was very small and not most friends and family could attend because it was a quick decision. Luckily, we will be having another wedding this summer that will be a bigger event!
We have not decided where it will be because my family is in Brasil and Marko is from Serbia. It will be great no matter where!
And finally, there are rumors of me pregnant. I just cannot say.. YET! .
beijos!!!
adri

 

Ja, whatever. Fuck that.

What is even more upsetting is the fact that Adriana always claimed to be a virgin and to be saving herself for marriage. Nice one, Jaric..

WHAT a disappointment this all is…

I checked out the comments under her post, hoping to cheer myself up.

Which I did.

When I found this beautiful freak:

 

 

Whaaahahahahahahaha! WHATEVER, Mark!!! No-one’s buying it, bru!

You can say whatever you want, it’s not going to hide that look you’ve got going in your profile picture. The look that says, “I wank over you frequently.”

And now you’re trying to be BUDDIES with her? “I wish you and your husband a lifetime of” BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!

Forget it, Mark.

Write her off.

Move on.

Kill someone else.