I only watched the Oscars last night, as the live broadcast (early yesterday morning) was on during my dealings with Mercedes Benz. In case you missed my Twitting, I dropped off my car and was put into an A-Class Merc as I joined a lift club from the Culemborg Orbit Motors to The Safe House.

An A-class Merc
Picture this with five people in it.
Two of them being over 100kg.

The lift club consisted of the driver, two extremely large people (one man, one woman), a man of normal build and myself (sporty/model type build). For those of you who know the A-Class Merc, this setup is nothing short of unreasonable. Struggling to breathe, I noticed the driver was driving in the wrong direction. He informed us he needed to get to a petrol station to fill up. The A-Class was out of gas. Good. Good. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.

I should also make mention of the fact that I have a very powerful “fuck-up sensor” built into my head, which was bleeping when I first arrived at Mercedes Benz. Sensing in impending fuck up when I dropped off my car at 07h00, I asked the chick at the desk to get me the number for RIKKIS taxis. She went through the phone book and couldn’t find their number. She assured me I was over reacting and I would have a very comfortable lift, very shortly. We left at 07h30.

Back to the lift club. 10 minutes later (after filling up with a jam-packed car) we were on the road, in Gardens, as the driver got everyone’s drop-off coordinates. They all agreed that I would be the last drop. Given the only thing between Camps Bay and Gardens is Kloof Nek, I couldn’t quite fathom 45 minutes of driving around Cape town with my face pressed against the window like a porn star.

I climbed out of the vehicle as traffic built up around us. The driver shat himself and asked what I was doing. I explained to him it would be easier for me to walk. I bid my lift club buddies farewell and headed off into the CBD, side swiping Wembley Square and finally ending up at Vida e on Kloof Road. I grabbed a latte and a water and jumped in the first taxi that drove past. R40 got me to The Safe House where I spent the day rolled up like a ball, shivering in the corner.

Other than that I’m fine.

I watched the Oscars last night and found it thoroughly amusing that the cameras were basically fixed on Brad and Angelina when Jennifer was on stage. They’re so naughty, those cameramen.

I’m not going to give an Oscar review as I’m sure there is not much more to be said. What I will do is give you pics of Jen and Angie for general discussion.

Jennifer Aniston at The Oscars

Angelina Jolie at The Oscars

Nice.

Goodness, they really are two very different people. I am slightly scared of Angelina, to be honest.

I reckon she beats Brad.