You couldn’t DREAM this up. You could smoke a ton of chronic and eat a plate of magic mushroom infused chocolate brownies, and the result would never be a concept as ludicrous as a journalist throwing his shoes, one after the other, at President George W Bush. I mean, Mike Myers used it as a joke in his Austin Powers films. Remember? The one guy had a special skill which allowed him to kill people using his shoes. His name was Random Task. It was a spoof of Ian Fleming’s Odd Job character in the Bond movie Goldfinger. A character which later manifested itself into an Afrikaans teacher at a Cape Town private school.

Odd Job (the teacher) once gave us a lecture about how disgusting it was that some of us had written on and defaced our desks. He fingered me as one of the culprits.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sir” I yelped, sure of my innocence. Whilst carefully constructed campaigns of mischief and confusion at school were a regular occurrence, vandalism was not one of my fortés.

“But it’s so easy to prove, Rotherham, especially when you write your own name on the desk!” he bellowed.

I knew I had had him, because A) I would never be that stupid and B) my name was not written on my desk.

I looked around at the class with a get-a-load-of-this-guy expression on my face and delivered the retort – “You are incorrect, Sir, I did NOT write my name on the desk!”

“Rotherham, do you want me to get out of my chair and come and show you?” he threatened.

I laughed in the face of danger and dared him to prove his wild accusations – “Please, be my guest, Sir,” I challenged him.

He slowly rose from his chair, walked around his desk and pulled up in front of my desk.

“I can see it from where I’m standing, don’t play silly games with me, BOY!” he shouted.

I laughed out loud, “Sir, what are you talking about?” I asked.

“It’s right there in front of you!” he yelled, amused, as he pointed to a word that had been carved into the desk (by someone else), but was not my actual surname. He looked at it, looked at me, and read (bellowed) it out – “ARSEHOLE!!!!”

The class erupted!

He laughed his head off.

I nodded my head and gave a smirk. “Good one, Sir!” I commended him. He got me. Hook, line and sinker.

Odd Job – what a beaut.

Of course that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that yesterday a man threw two shoes, in rapid succession, at President George W Bush. It is very important that you watch this. He throws them incredibly hard and incredibly accurately. I must say, I’m pretty impressed with Bush’s reflexes.

This is one of the funniest videos you will watch in your very short lifetime.

 

 

I don’t think we’ll even begin to get into the incredibly slow reaction time displayed by the Secret Service. How can they take a bullet for the president if they can’t even get there before a second shoe flies past?

Thank you, shoe wielding journalist, for making my day.