I swear to God. This is not a hoax. Scarlett Johansson married Van Wilder star, Ryan Reynolds this weekend. All this, while Paul Newman was dying.

Scarlett Johansson
Off the market

I cannot confirm what effect this will have on marriage certificates which feature Scarlett Johansson under the “Celebrity Indiscretion” clause. You know, the part of your prenup / marraige certificate which let’s each spouse choose one celebrity they are ALLOWED to have one-off sex with, should the opportunity arise.

I know The Advertising Guy chose Johansson, so I’m not sure what will happen there. Unless, of course, she had The Advertising Guy’s name down as well – then they can go ahead with that I reckon.

Judging by this pic, I’d say that some girls out there may have had Scarlett’s new husband down as well.

Ryan Reynolds
Van Wilder

You’ll be interested to learn that Ryan Reynolds used to be engaged to Alanis Morissette – the psychopath that brought us the electrifying, yet terrifying album Jagged Little Pill.

I think we all agree that Scarls is a definite upgrade. Especially seeing as she is 23.

Alanis is like a million years old.