I will remind you that Boris Johnson is the very same very new London mayor who, upon winning the London Mayoral election, declared, “Tomorrow we get cracking, but tonight we drink.”

Boris Johnson
Pure entertainment

I am very pleased to announce that Boris is back with a new speech, which he delivered at the closing of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing this weekend. It was at a “handover party” which is given so as to acknowledge London as the next hosting city, with Boris Johnson taking the lead.

This, from The Independent:

To cheers from the assembled British officials, Mr Johnson declared that the Chinese “have excelled magnificently at ping pong. Ping pong was invented on the dining tables of England and it was called whiff whaff”.

“There you have, I think, the essential difference between us and the rest of the world. Other nations such as the French looked at the dining table and saw the opportunity to have dinner. We looked at the dining table and saw an opportunity to play whiff whaff.

He continued: “That is why London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world – ping pong is coming home.”

[More here]

PING PONG IS COMING HOME! Whaaaah!!

Are you kidding me? This guy is like a gift from God. Do you realise that the above extract is real? That actually happened. At the Olympics! What more could you possibly want from a mayor? I’ll take a bumbling comedian over a corrupt hypocrite any day of the week.

Speaking of which, while he is often lauded as a “bumbling buffoon” and erratic at best, I think we should agree that he is taking a very Churchillesque tone in everything he does. Winston Churchill is famed for his quotes to do with women and drink. He was OFTEN completely pissed whilst simultaneously leading the British army as one of history’s most famous and accomplished leaders. Look, I’m pretty pleased Boris Johnson isn’t heading up a war machine, but you you got to enjoy his approach. Conservatives and posh snobbery (with humourous undertones playing an essential part) is becoming cool again, and he is at the forefront.

And with that, I give you the video of Boris declaring that “ping pong is coming home.”

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Have a wonderful Monday, my friends. I am currently on a plane from Durban to Cape Town, which is nothing short of a miracle, given that it was a 06h30 flight which meant 05h30 arrival at the airport, which meant 05h15 departure from the hotel, which meant waking up at 04h15 (We require one hour turnaround time).

It’s crazy out there.