I’m quite pleased with myself. I popped into Carlucci’s yesterday to get a Chunky Chicken Salad and I spotted their range of stovetop espresso makers, as I do every time (always two words, it is never “everytime”). I bit my lip as I grabbed the small Bialetti Moka Express one-man unit from the shelf and proceeded to the checkout.

The next stop was Vida e to grab some finely ground Vida e coffee. I was all set to go.

As the yanks say, “ALL SET!”

The Bialetti Moka Express

Isn’t it just too beautiful and classic for words? Apparently 150 million cups of espresso are made using one of these puppies, every day around the world!

EVERY DAY, my boet!

I suggest you get one too.

It didn’t take me long to learn how to use it at The Safe House, thanks to this new product I use, called the “internet,” which has instructions on everything from bombs to coffee makers! Brilliant!

I’ve had three espressos today and they were just incredible. I still have to grab an actual Vida e coffee from an actual Vida e outlet so I’d advise you to stay the fuck out of my way after that as I could very easily be tripping.