A local company has decided, for one reason or another, to lend me a brand new Audi R8 for a while. The guy called me on Friday and asked if I would mind. I’m usually hesitant to take up these kind of offers, as you don’t know what they want from you in return. But, you know, who gives a toss – it’s an Audi R8. Take it.

 

The Audi R8 – 4.2L V8
Sexy, almost evil

 

I have just this second come back from what seemed like half an hour, but, looking at my watch, I notice it is now earlier than when I left?! It sounds confusing, but you’ll understand once you have a drive in this puppy and become aware that time travel is very much a reality!

Based of the Lamborghini Gallardo platform, (Audi owns Lamborghini) the Audi R8 has just won both the World Performance and World Design titles at the recent 2008 World Car of the Year Awards, laughing at the likes of Maserati, Aston Martin, Mercedes-Benz and the rest of the boys who had to step aside for this beast. At R1.6 million to own, with a top speed of over 300km/h and 315kw stuffed up it’s arse (0-100km/h in 4.5s), this supercar is, quite truly, a fashion/speed/power/sex icon.

 

You want to touch it… hold it.

 

Capetonians are known for being too cool to be caught staring at anything unusual or desirable, preferring to look at the thing or person secretly, and hiding one’s gazes before the other person sees. This is part of the reason why international celebrities love Cape Town, because they think no-one sees them or cares. Oh don’t worry, we see you! We just won’t let you catch us looking. That wouldn’t be cool, maaan..

It is therefore quite something to cruise along the Camps Bay strip witnessing locals and tourists alike openly GAWKING and unashamedly taking out cameras to take pictures. Mind that drool, buddy. This car’s looks ALONE are a complete mind fuck. ESPECIALLY with those very naughty boomerang strips of LED-type lights (always on) along the bottom and sides of the front lights. It looks like some sort of prototype vehicle being developed in conjunction with alien space craft technology.

 

Seth explains to a neighbour that,
whilst her advances have been noted,
and as pathetic as it all may be,
she will simply HAVE to wait in line..

 

It is also an absolute FACT that this car WILL get you chicks. That side of things I don’t necessarily agree with. I do not feel good about myself when I see married women sitting WITH their husbands at Caprice, quite visibly wetting themselves, staring at me with a look that confirms the worst – that they are quite willing to drop their husbands and family for a piece of this package rolling passed them. For a piece of Seth and his rocket. I don’t think that is good and certainly don’t think Audi took it into account when they built this car. We can’t live in a society where cars are being made which render women uncontrollable and void of any inhibitions. Very naughty, Audi. You’re basically home wreckers.

And that’s the MARRIED women! The usual rabble are just completely incorrigible. It’s not even worth a mention.

It’s disgusting.

I can’t get into the car’s performance right now because I want to pose along the strip just one more time before dark. What I can say is I have NEVER in my life ever experienced such speed and handling before. Honestly, I thought I was going to take off. Going down Kloof Road with the roar of the engine right behind my head (visible through the glass covering the back) and a 6-speed gearbox that sucks the gear into the next slot before you get it there, I simply could not shake it. God, that sound, it’s so addictive. I just want more of it. All the time. I want it inside me.

Check out more about the Audi R8 here and below are some of the awards that this thing keeps on winning.

– The R8 was awarded Best Handling Car and Fastest Car In The World of 2007 by Autocar magazine.
– It was awarded SportsCar of the year by German magazine Autobild.
– Playboy Magazine awarded it Car of The Year for 2008.
– The Automobile Journalists Association of Canada (AJAC) named the R8 Canadian Car of the Year, and, in addition, awarded it Best Prestige Car and Most Coveted Car of 2008.
– Top Gear Magazine named the Audi R8 the 2007 Car of the Year.
– Automobile Magazine awarded the R8 the 2008 Automobile of the Year
– The Audi R8 was named 2008 “MSN Car of the Year”, with 42% of the votes, beating the Ferrari 430 into 2nd with 13%, and the BMW M3 into 3rd with 11%.
– In the 2008 World Car of the Year awards, the R8 was awarded World Performance Car of the Year and World Design Car of the Year.
– European Car Magazine rated the R8 as Car of the Year

Aah, It’s gonna be a good week..