I thought I had found the perfect “tame” Cape Town handyman. He was not very different to the naked guy on the beach in Along Came Polly. He was very foreign, had a pony tail and was nothing short of “steamy.” He did everything from painting my house to tiling my deck – everything was going great!

That was until he charged R350 to lead a wire along the wall from the TV in my office to the plug socket. R350! To secure a wire to the skirting board! Like I was some sort of a fool. Like I had never touched wire before. Like I didn’t know how to hit a hammer against the small nail that secures those little plastic clips around the wire onto the skirting board. Like I couldn’t calculate out how much work was involved. I told him to go fuck himself and buried my head in my hands, wondering if people will ever stop fucking people over.

That was before I was put in touch with HomeFixers.

HomeFixers – Thank God

One of the partners is a good friend of mine and his timing couldn’t have been any better. He understood that I wouldn’t comment until I had taken them through their paces…

Since then The P.A. has called these guys for every job, big and small. Their first job was replacing virtually every light bulbin the Bantry Bay house. That was the job. Nothing else. They came to check the bulbs, went to BUY the bulbs, then came back and put them in! I’m FINE with that! It cost virtually nothing and took them no time.

Then they rewired the “new” stove at The Castle. (You might remember when The Kitesurfer decided to half-install the stove the other day, at 7pm – dinner time). This rewiring process included breaking into the garage which was locked from the inside. No problem whatsoever. That was after we realised the electric board wasn’t in another room which was locked – which resulted in them getting someone else to BUY and BRING one of those door keys that have a code written on them, so we could get into the room in the first place. Hectique!

These guys are out of control! And yes, I have had them at The Safe House. They planed down the front door (which mysteriously decided to grow), turned up the geyser, and even installed a little digital safe I bought to store the multitude of raw uncut blood diamonds I keep with me at all times. That, and Lennon’s original hand written lyrics for Woman.

There seems to be no limit to what they can do. Here are some other things I found out they can do:

That’s pretty much EVERYTHING!

Their pricing system is EXTREMELY fair, charging for time, not bullshit – producing a beautiful well-structured invoice every time. And these boys work FAST. None of the work they have done for me has taken longer than an hour. Check out their rates here. They even have special deals for a full day’s work.

They could probably build a condo in that time..

So if you’re looking for a Cape Town Handyman, check out my boys, Homefixer’s Website HERE.

OR call them on 0860 FIXERS.

Call them now, they’re tame.