I surveyed Camps Bay from The Safe House, caned a joint, hopped on Libby (my scooter) and took a cruise to The Strip to scope out the skirt. You’d be a fool not to on a day like today. I liked what I saw. I parked the beast and made a couple calls on the grass section between the road next to Caprice and the beach. It’s a good spot to make calls. Try it. The next time you’re nearby and you have some calls to make, park your car and make the calls on the grass. The sea air will do you good. I mean, Christ, look at yourself – you’re a fucking WRECK!

Whilst brokering a deal between two global superpowers, I noticed a bit of movement a little further down The Strip – in the new section that we chatted about the other day.

“Well lookie here,” I mumbled under my breath, intrigued, as the person on the other end of the line carried on about “diplomatic pouches” and the like.

Yes…..as I thought, the new Camps Bay Vida e Caffe had opened!

The red chairs – very naughty

“Whatever, Gordon, I’ve heard that bullshit before” I said, as I hung up the phone and directed my important-looking phone-pacing towards the red chairs.

Ja, look, there is no question – this is easily going to be the coolest Vida yet. I mean, the others are cool – but this one is going to be a joke. It’s all so perfect – you’ve got Cappers on the one corner, and Vida on the other – and enough beautiful babies to fill them both! With every hour of the day suiting one of the two, and ablutions on hand when you need, you could probably LIVE there.

The boyz..

Fine..

Yes…yes. That’s all fine.

I think you”ll find the house beer and wine working particularly well at this branch…

Welcome to The Strip, boys.