Is it just me, or does this stuff happen to all of you? It’s like The Truman Show or something. I feel like I’m being hit with these mind-blowing human-interaction incidents WAY too often. Just a couple of weeks ago I received a vision in the form of an angel wearing my orange Polo jersey – but I think that must have been a dream because she seems to have vanished.. I couldn’t imagine things could get more crazy until I found myself driving along the Constantia Uitsig road in Constantia last week..

Up in the distance was a figure. I laughed to myself because from that far away it looked like the guy was carrying a cross of sorts – like a crucifix. IMAGINE! I mused to myself as I drove closer and closer to the guy, slowly realising that what I thought was true.

A vision

"JESUS," I shrieked during a phone call I was conducting with The Hand at the same time.

"What happened," asked The Hand.

"No….nothings HAPPENED, it….it……….it’s JESUS…..I think Jesus is in Constantia! There’s this guy carrying a crucifix down the road! What the fuck is going on here, man?"

"Naah, that guy’s been doing that for years" reacted The Hand, calmly – as he should…….BEING The Hand.

I ended the call and parked on the side of the road ahead of him, waiting for him to get closer to me. I didn’t know what I was going to do with him when he got to me, I’d just have to ride it out and see. Thank GOD I brought my camera. I popped it onto video mode and met the lone crusader – here is the interview:

So there you have it! If you for some incredibly sad bizarre reason are NOT able to see that video, I’ll break it down for you:

Mark, the messenger from God, received a mission from The Lord through prayer. Poor guy! I must say that I count myself quite lucky with the mission I was set – that of keeping you smiling and to rid the world of bad people, idiots and losers. Shame, Mark got one of the more strenuous tasks, I’d say. To build and carry a crucifix on his shoulder! And not only that – I asked what sort of timeframe God was looking at for this particular mission. He said that, although he had been doing it on and off since 1991, this time he was going to continue doing it for "a lifetime."

A LIFETIME!? That is HECTIC BRU!

Bad luck – but good, I suppose. It’s definitely going to keep you from sinning! I mean PHYSICALLY you won’t even be able to get THROUGH the doors at Maverick’s, let alone LUST over Eastern-European tricksters in a haze of liquor, pop music, smoke and sex.

Mark – just chilling..

So he (Mark) said God had a plan for all of us and that everything was happening for a reason. Religious or not, I told him that SOMETHING was definitely going on because I SOMEHOW remembered my camera and therefore had NO option but to put his video on 2oceansvibe – as a gift to the readers. So we kill two birds with one stone; I entertain the readers and Mark gets his message out even further.

Didn’t Noah kill two birds with one stone or something? They fell out the sky and hit a rock and turned into wine I think. You’ll have to look it up – don’t quote me.