Oh yes! Crack open the shampiz, blow the dust off your shades, rub in the piz and promise not to behave – summer is here my baby and there’s nothing you can do about it!

It’s quite evident that summer has begun

Camps Bay was pretty empty when I found myself tip-toeing onto the beach, scared that a wall of clouds and accompanying rain would appear out of nowhere and gobble me up – sentencing me to a life of darkness living in caves with goths and tree people. But nothing happened. I cracked open my umbrella ella ella and calmly sat down on my towel, retrieving my iPod from the Carlucci’s bag. I pressed play as the little black hard drive selected a song. That was when I new this was the beginning of summer. Out of NOWHERE, my iPod hit me with Long Cool Woman by The Hollies (click that link if you don’t know what I’m talking about). OH MY GOD! I couldn’t believe it. I fired up a tight little joint and took in my surroundings.

Hardly anyone else on the beach……, as I greased myself up and noticed that a glorious foreign woman to my right was clearly convinced that we had a connection. Hey take it easy, baby…it’s gonna be a long summer….

One of our regular topless SMOKING-HOT blonde models left the beach after my first swim and only now am I really thinking about that ass she was throwing around on departure. God, you could crack a coconut on that thing! I think I know a little SOMEBODY who did some WORK during the winter. Good girl, Daddy is pleased.

I smashed a cocktail at Caprice, got back to the Bantry Bay pad (The Safe House is undergoing some alterations. Grrr!) and checked the weather forecast for the rest of the week.

Aaaah, look at that:

Laughable

If the top pic in this article is what they mean when they say "scattered clouds" and "22 degrees" (Monday above) then we’re LAUGHING this summer. Maybe clouds is a new word for ass and they’re referring to sightings of scattered ass everywhere.

Anyway, with the odd suspected drop of tame-rain on the weekend and more sun to follow, I think it’s safe to say it – Welcome to Summer, people.

I’ll show you some scattered clouds RIGHT THERE! Yeah, you like that?