A new backpage article tells us that one of the 1995 World Cup Rugby players who won’t go away, Joost van der Westhuizen, is used to being insulted. How very unfortunate, my love. The article goes:

“The former rugby icon was referring to an incident last week in the NuBar nightclub in Stellenbosch, where a man apparently called him a d**s and showed him a middle-finger sign.”

The very unfortunate ‘Joost’

I must be honest, I jumped right into this article when I saw the headline, looking for one thing – what exactly they called him. I was over the moon when the newspaper’s cryptic clue gave us two of the four letters (d**s), thus confirming that the offender had indeed called Joost a ‘doos’. For our foreign readers, the Afrikaans word “doos” refers to the female genitalia (‘doos’ is pronounced similar to the name “Lewis”). So basically they called him a cu*t, which is fair enough. He is.

The reason I got so excited about the article is it took me back to the mid-90’s when my student mates and I were punishing our bodies with alcohol at “Cactus Jacks” bar in Rondebosch (ex Hard Rock Cafe for the very old guard who are reading this). Someone pointed out that Joost van der Westhuizen had just walked in. We were seated at a slightly raised position and could see the weird looking scrum-half very clearly. I remember putting two and two together and shouting out “DOOS” in his direction, much to the joy of the drunk students close by. Obviously it worked a treat. He turned and looked in our direction, thinking someone had called out his name. He couldn’t work out who it was – all he could see was a bunch of youngsters laughing and giving each other high fives.

It is quite unfortunate that his name sounds like a vagina. But let’s be honest, he doesn’t do himself any favours by continuing to invade our lives over a decade later. Joining the team on TV sports show ‘Supersport’ and thus joining the weekly ’95 World Cup wankfest’, didn’t help things either.