Manna (Epicure) Restaurant on Kloof Street was the venue for our New Year’s day headache. I had been to the establishment before, but only for half an hour. I looked forward to my next visit and was glad that the time had finally arrived. After an extravagant lavish New Year’s night, I really wanted to follow through with a good solid New Year’s day lunch. I visualised a number of bottles of wine and good food. I also wanted very badly for Manna Restaurant on Kloof to be the hidden gem I desperately need/ed in my restaurant repertoire. I did the odd drive by and was very much sold on the serene, crisp, fresh, white linen vibe that hits you as you drive past. All of the tables and chairs are white, the walls are white, the staff wear white and pretty much everything else is white. It’s a nice vibe to go for and I’m sure they’ve had a few column centimeters thrown around, stating how clever it all is. Unfortunately they don’t realise that the key to a slick vibe is to be slick all the time, even on New Year’s day. If you’re open on 1 January just to feed the community then please, open up a soup kitchen, or don’t open at all. That said, the excuse “It was New Year’s day” does not apply here. If I had known it was amateur hour I would have rather gone to the Woolworths 24 hour garage in Gardens and had an all-day-breakfast sandwich.

Manna Epicure on Kloof – All the makings…

My favourite game of walking deep into a restaurant and standing in the middle of nowhere until somebody realises that an actual human-being has walked in, kicked of the proceedings. We used our initiative and approached a table which was being cleared up by a poor man’s Val Kilmer lookalike who couldn’t see what he was doing because his eyeballs were stapled to a very sweet table of guys behind us. Kilmer’s eyeball stapling also caused him to bring me the poor man’s parma ham (they have another name for it), instead of my original request – salmon. I made use of the R90 screw top wine, hoping to dissolve the scene that was unfolding.

Val Kilmer – now working at Manna on Kloof

We discussed the merits of Manna employing models to compensate for the rather bland-looking clientele. Our conversation caused a temporary escape from reality and a subsequent realisation that the staff no longer knew that we existed. I asked our ginger haired manager if he could see us or whether this was perhaps the twilight zone. Acknowledging their error, he offered us compensation in the form of complimentary dessert. Because, let’s face it, dessert is exactly what you feel like in 30 degree weather with a slight hangover on board. We forced down some cheesecake. Naturally the bill came with the desserts included.

There were a few more balls ups including incorrect drinks orders and the like but I’m not going into detail – I think we all get the point. Sometimes food is so good that people can forgive even the worst service. The food at Manna was great…. when it arrived (and after we were allowed to order it). Naturally, success/reputation can very easily breed complacency. I think we should keep in mind that there is a point where shit service surpasses amazing food.