Grabbed a steak at Nelson’s Eye restaurant in Gardens last night before Caprice. Nelson’s Eye is renowned to serve ‘Arguably the best steaks in Cape Town’ so we had to have a go.

I arrived early, hoping to sort out a table for the boys before they all arrived. I walked into the restaurant. They’ve gone for the open plan kitchen vibe, so you can watch and listen to whats going on in the kitchen whilst you eat. As I walk in I am greeted by the back of someone. The someone looks like the manager/owner type. He is busy talking to the staff who have huddled around him. I catch the person with the back’s conversation mid-way:

“But what did he say” – enquired the guy with his back to me to the other staff.

Remember now that I am standing inside the restaurant at the entrance, waiting for service. The staff huddled around His Royal Highness are giving me awkward looks – knowingly embarrased by HRH.

“They were just upset and said you were rude” – replied one of HRH’s staff.

“But how can they be upset?!?!? All I said was ……..”. – carried on HRH

I didn’t listen on but the shock was not that he hadn’t greeted me, but the fact that he was happily carrying on at the top of his lungs about a situation to do with a disgruntled (we should use ‘disgruntled’ more often) customer. Are you openly publicising this? Are you a fool? A Buffoon perhaps?

I leant over to the chef and asked who would normally greet me and organise a table. He pointed at His Royal Highness who was STILL carrying on. He tried to get the attention of HRH as I walked out to get some air outside. Eventually I organised a table after finding out His Royal Highness’s name. Steven Albert (Might be ‘Stephen’, but we’ll take our chances).

Well, that was not enough. It seems Mr Albert finacies himself as quite the showman. He was shouting and carrying on the whole night. He really thought he was creating a vibe. Steven/Stephen, you can only do that if you are Italian and work in an Italian restaurant. You can’t do it if you are a self-conscious South African with the sense of humour of a moisturizer. Also, shouting things like ‘Where’s my carbonara?’ just sounds better than ‘Is the Sirloin meant to be medium rare?’.

That’s enough about that. The food, funnily enough, was incredible! And our waitress, ‘Andy’ was red hot. Just wish Steven would slow down to a gentle roar and stop emboerrissing himself.