I will not get myself too worked up about this one because a person of such little importance doesn’t deserve more than a couple of words.

A friend of mine and I made the fatal error of doing a spot of shopping at the V&A Waterfront on Saturday morning at 9am.

GOOD GOD

Please promise us that you will never do the same thing! From start to finish everything was a dog show. There seems to be a very large amount of freaks who are from the Cape area but decide to wreak havoc at the Waterfront on Saturdays. They even take photos of each other as though we were at Disneyland. I started slitting my wrists when I found myself waiting in a ten-strong queue at Musica with only one till open. The chap in the front of the queue was arguing with the fool at the till for over ten minutes. Thank God I was buying Michael Buble who would sooth me on the way home. I know we slated Buble a few months back but we’ve matured a bit since then and we’re giving him another chance!

Moving swiftly on….. we decided to get some brekkie at Mugg and Bean which is situated at the front door of the new section at the Waterfront.

We sat in a section of the restaurant which was a bit away from the main action. As we sat I asked the manager if they would be able to handle us sitting where we were. It’s amazing that you can smell sh*t service before it happens. I was told everything would be fine. I expected the coffee I ordered to arrive before my eggs. Obviously it didn’t. I summonsed a waiter and reminded him of the coffee and asked if he could also bring some black pepper. Towards the end of my eggs I had received neither. I hunted around for black pepper and asked for the manager.

When ‘Kobus’ arrived and explained the situation and asked him what the problem was. I reminded him that I could smell the sh*t service when I walked in. Then something very bizarre happened. His eyes turned almost to slits (do it as you sit at your desk now – make your eyes slits – you need to picture this) and he gave a slight smirk (please smirk whilst holding your eyes like slits) and he gave very small slow nods (give small nods whilst smirking and keep the slit eyes) and he looked DIRECTLY INSIDE ME with a look that seemed to say:

“You try’na f*ck with me?”

Speechless, I asked for the bill and we got out of there. That’s when I thought I knew a little boy who needed a lie down.

Kobus, I don’t know who the f*ck you think you are but you should maybe stop drinking before shifts. Also please try to remember that you are a twenty-something BREAKFAST RESTAURANT MANAGER. You’re in the SERVICE INDUSTRY you revolting man – pull yourself together.