We had an early Thursday night so that we were ready for Friday night in the Northern Suburbs. My team mate and I packed our passports the night before and spent the whole of Friday going through the game plan.

Oozing sex, we cruised into Cubana. Obviously they had another 7/8 foot bouncer who must have had a stint in the NBA. WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS? We quaffed a couple of toots and decided to head towards El Vacco (Vacca Matta). Oh, must also mention that Ferdi (remember Ferdi from Big Brother? The one that made a quiet poo on the Big Brother lawn) was there looking after one of his tour groups. I must say, he has a wonderful recipe for looking after tour group. Three words…. GET THEM SMASHED. Obviously they’ll always have a good time. Good work Ferd.

After my team mate convinced me it would be fun, we stopped by Stones (snooker/pool establishment) before moving on to the Durbanville Mecca – Vacca Mecca. We were inside Stones for 28 seconds. I had visions of my face being cracked open on the corner of a pool table as my assailant’s buddy attempted to win the game by sinking the 8 ball into my eye socket. Moving on.

We had to deal with a small hiccup when we arrived as the portly fellow on the VIP door entrance had no idea how important we were and wouldn’t let us in. Thank God we threatened the lady at the front desk who was more than willing to give us our deserved stamp.

It was at this point that we ran into Durbanville’s only hope(s) in this years Homegrown Honeys competition.

WHY DO WE KEEP ON RUNNING INTO HOMEGROWN HONEYS?
WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?

THERE ARE ONLY 100 and we’ve met 4 in a week!

“What are your names, girls?” we questioned. That’s when a very simple man in bad jeans and t-shirt walked past and said “Those chicks are homegrown honeys”. We knew what to do.

We took them up to the ‘VIP’ room and funnelled champagne down their throats. I chatted to the younger one who was as exciting as the food at Tuscany Beach restaurant in Camps Bay. Shame. Can you get more dull? My conversation topics included things like, “Wow, it must be quite nerve racking going head to head with your sister!!”.

Trust me guys, vote for Dani. Wait for her shoot and you’ll see what we mean. The two sisters look like Bambi in headlights. In fact, when they’re done looking into the headlights and they turn their heads, allowing the headlights to shine into their ears, their eyes light up. It’s true.

So the partying continued and we ripped the dance floor apart. The resident dancer at Vacca Matta is one of the hottest dancers I have ever seen. Michelle, just keep going angel!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MP4 VIDEO OF THE
VACCA MATTA DANCER (Michelle)
(1.62 Mb QUICKTIME FORMAT)

Oh, I think the song of the summer is that one that goes ‘Nah Nah Nah…. Oh Oh Oh’! Too mean!